I write this with a sense of gratitude for the few male identifying clients that I have and I continue to wonder about barriers to access for our male South Asian community.
We condition the men in our spheres to be strong and we live in systems that perpetuate these narratives, with the counter being that receiving any sort of emotional support is perceived as weak. The emotions they can tap into easily (typically anger) and ways of coping are met with so much shame. We pressure them to be the ones that are responsible for taking care of their family of origin into their old ages. We tell them they must provide and if they falter from that ideal— they are met with disapproval. The men in our communities have had less access to mental health services, with proper diagnosis and treatment evading their grasp. Men are less likely to reach out when they need help.
My hope is that my place in this field includes the stories of South Asian males and giving them a much needed and deserved seat at the table.
A few years ago, I read a story about male soldiers in Normandy in relation to their very last moments on earth— In their dying breath, they often called for their mothers, for most, the epitome of softness, tenderness, and love they have received. Men with a minority background deserve to be treated with softness and care, despite the systems that we live in that have perpetuated toxic masculinity and often, violence.
We all need to be advocates for male minority mental health, even when it feels hard. We can call out and rightfully blame patriarchal ideals that have impacted us— and likely them as well. We must also name that males of a minority background face a huge amount of stressors and pressure that deserves just as much tending and destigmatizing.
